A house made of wood and odd colors.
A house with many doors, many locked, many unable to lock.
Within this house lies the Area of the Forbidden.
All who enter will sound an alarm and the Landbitch will come running.
Beside the Forbidden is the Land of Horrors.
On the first level the Quiet Asian lurks.
She is waiting for nightfall to make grudge worthy sounds that give goosebumps to all.
In her room she stays all day, only emerging briefly to eat or to enter the Lockless Sanitarium.
The Lockless Sanitarium is a room to be avoided, but impossible to avoid.
This is the room in which the body is cleansed.
This is the room in which personal moments occur.
This is the room in which the blinds are always open.
This is the room which will never lock.
But this is only the beginning of the tour of the House of Horrors.
Beyond a mysterious door is the Staircase of Death.
This Staircase is is narrow.
This Staircase is steep.
This Staircase will unleash even the tiniest peep.
Above the Staircase of Death dwells two entities.
Choose the door to the right and will encounter the Dirty One.
This creature from the seas lives in a Floorless Room.
Clothes giving off the odor of deceased fish and dry sweat create the foundation of its chamber.
In the pit of the night the devil yells.
In the pit of the night the devil cackles.
In the pit of the night the devil speaks its native language.
This may seem the worst of the choices, but go the left and it may be regretful.
Choose the door to the left and encounter The Raccoon.
This is the one that never sleeps, yet sleeps the day away.
This is the one who will snatch your meals before they are prepared.
This is the one who will hoard your earnings without a tinge of guilt.
This is the one who will make sure you never hear anything else but its own creations.
Close all the doors, make it down the Staircase, sneak past the Asian, and avoid the Sanitarium.
The journey through the House of Horrors is now over.
Drive away and never look back.